Before I went to bed I prayed, but not like I usually do.
I prayed with a different level of sincerity. It's not that I'm ever insincere. But I was responding to a pull and invitation to converse with God.
There are times that you pray because you want to.
There are times that you pray because you must.
There are also times that you pray because you are invited by God.
You can feel the press. You can feel God's desire towards you. You can feel him offering to lift your load, or that he simply wants to talk to you.
As I prayed I was very honest about my questions.
I had a TON of questions.
I have resolved the last season as a season of major testing.
But it is not always what you go through, but what you LEARN from what it all MEANS.
I asked God, like I have done many other times.....
"God. What does it all mean? What is/was the purpose?"
Then I gave him my questions and left them there.
I fell asleep with the reassurance that God had heard me.
The lack of answer did not discourage me.
I knew that I had been HEARD.
I woke out of my sleep at 4am.
I woke up WIDE AWAKE.
As I laid there wondering why I was up, I heard the lord say two words to me.
He said:
"SHADOW BOXING".
As I acknowledged what he said, I grabbed my phone to look up the depth of what Shadow Boxing is.
I know about sports, but am no major boxing fan.
I've seen all the fights. I have a Dad, brothers, a husband. I've seen my fair share of boxing.
I have also seen people shadow box in the gym.
But again, this means nothing for what I needed to know.
But with anything that God speaks to you, you will miss the meat of what he's saying by taking it at face value and not looking deeper. And assuming you already know what he's relaying based off of our basic english definition, is foolish.
As I began looking up what shadow boxing is, here is what I learned.
Shadow boxing is a form of training.
It is a simulated fight before a major fight.
But it is not the same as sparring where there is another opponent to fight.
In sparring, you are testing your actual fighting skills.
You are using another fighter to see if you can win a fight.
Shadow boxing is entirely different.
It is not so much about teaching you how to fight as much as it's teaching you how to stay in the fight.
It is the art of using your strength to box the air.
To the naked eye, it looks easy and even casual.
In comparison to a real fight, it does not look like it's accomplishing much.
We are all wowed and amazed by an actual fight.
That is what we want to see.
That is what we have been led to believe is the most important.
But shadow boxing is not about teaching you HOW to fight as much as it is about building critical components for what you will need to BE a fighter.
It builds endurance, stamina, strength, balance, coordination, mental strength, and helps you shed weight.
It is meant to give you the ingredients necessary to endure a fight, or anything that requires ENDURANCE without giving up.
God was simply saying that the answer to my questions is that I was being trained.
The answer to my questions were summed up in two words.
I was receiving what I needed to be ready, stay ready, and endure.
I am reminded of the truth that God does not waste any experiences.
We are not to think occurrences and instances strange (1 Peter 4:12), but must EXPECT them.
If you are to be a person of purpose and growth, it is to be expected that God will see to it that every experience necessary will come your way to train you.
The hardest part of any trial is not knowing when it will begin, end, and what it is for.
The WHY kills us. It takes us all the way down.
But God cannot share every detail with us.
This is also a part of the training. This in itself is SHADOW BOXING.
There is a foundational trust necessary in a fighter that must be there to continue fighting with no end in sight.
Remember, the skill of endurance is more mental than physical.
God is more interested in building the person who will win the battle than he is the battle itself.
There is one person and many battles.
There will be many battles for that ONE person.
He cares about HOW you win and WHO you are when you win than just that you win.
These critical, foundational components are the making of a person.
Any fighter without stamina and endurance is not a fighter at all.
Any one that enters a fight and gives up will never win.
These are things that God cares about.
This is why shadow boxing is necessary.
Perhaps your season is simply your training.
Perhaps it is not what you thought, but much more.
Ground work is never fun.
But it is what secures us, roots us, and sustains us.
It is imperative.
It is essential.
It produces the best person fit for the fight.
Don't despise it. Embrace it.
It's everything you need and more.
I'm grateful.
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